my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize