look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He did a backflip because drugs
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