He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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