it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
