what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just invented taco cereal.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize