I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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