Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize