Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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