You work out of a Hotel?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
