i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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