But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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