eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
