I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
