pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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