i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
