I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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