She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
