hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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