you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize