I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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