My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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