I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize