Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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