He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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