White coat. Heels.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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