Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she looked like the before picture.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
