Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
