Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Let's get the cat blown out
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize