Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
