so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
