airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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