I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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