there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
