This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
