i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
