"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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