Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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