I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
