just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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