that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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