I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
