Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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