How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
