Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
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