bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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