Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
