Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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