Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
