god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
