I have demons in me.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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