Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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