I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
