Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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