did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
