areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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