yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Randomize
