so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize