hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
