DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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