He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
