Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
