Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
