cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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