When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
