definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
