I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
