she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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