come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
