she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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