You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
