Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
