weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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