having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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